what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
