You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
