I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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