If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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