More tranny stories later!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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