Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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