dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
