Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
