why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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