Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
