maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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