I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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