Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
