I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
