Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
