Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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