omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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