If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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