I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
