Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have already put on my inside pants.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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