she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
