Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
