I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
