She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
