Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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