I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
