Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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