I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
