she woke up with a sticky ear
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
