you guys were way drunker than both of me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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