DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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