There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
