is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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