Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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