fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Randomize
