need another drink. this is the easiest way
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
