Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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