my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
