Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
