On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
honey bunches of taint.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
