I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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