a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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