she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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