I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
