Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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