My sheets look like a crime scene.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
