He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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