his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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