OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
