In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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