She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
