who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
